Monday, 21 May 2012

Insert Rolling Stones Reference Here

So now that Pen- excuse me, "Messenger", has tidied things up on his end business.
I suppose introductions are in order. It so happens that I hate introductions, so let's keep this one short then.

I'm Ratatoskr. Well, okay, to be fair I'm not a squirrel that climbs a giant fucking tree but it's an old handle and frankly I like it.
I hack things, in case that wasn't immediately obvious. And I suppose I've got the dubious job title of "Messenger" now.
Obituarist to bloggers.
Takes all sorts I suppose and a bit of cash is always good.

Now, granted I've always been more of a wake then a funeral sort of person. Have you been to many funerals? They're depressing and frankly I get enough of that in my day job. I'm not the guy to go to for long winded eulogies or offer condolences. Maybe I'll do a bit of music. Music is nice.

So, this is my job now right?  You people apparently know the drill. I've got Pend's old email from when the gig was his, . You want something done? Send me an email. They'll be going up here and over on the list. I'll see about moving a few of those posts from Pend's blog over when I get the time.

On that note, I've been poking through Pend's blog a little, and seen some of the shit that happens in the comments. A quick word? He may have put up with it, I won't. Start anything and I will come down on it like like a stack of lead bricks.
On Jupiter.

Sunday, 20 May 2012

You've got mail!

So I wake up yesterday morning, sometime around the crack of noon, and check my inbox. And hey, there’s email.

I mean, that’s what an inbox is for but it’s not exactly like a lot of people have that address. I value my privacy, and these days it’s a little hard to come by.

But getting off of the fucking topic. So this email is from Pendraconius. No one’s seen, smelt or heard neither hide nor fucking tail of the bastard in months. Do you know what that means? 
It means the guy’s gotten picked up by those lovely gentlemen with the black and white cars, gotten laid, or died. However you look at it, no one was expecting to hear from him again.

And I sure as hell wasn’t expecting something like this:
This is a mass e-mail.
If you are receiving this message, it is because the name “Pendraconius” means something to you.
I come with a job offer.  I go by "The Messenger" now, though that title may soon pass to you.  The pay is decent and, most importantly, consistent.  It's a steady source of income, which I know some of you need.
I can explain the details later, but let's just say for now that the job involves hacking the blogs of the deceased and putting up death announcements.  If you're at all interested, please respond ASAP.

Dear Internet

What. The. Everloving. Fuck.


Seriously, where the hell does Pend get off with this shit? No one’s heard from him in how long, and then we get this weird stuff. Has he gone off the deep end?

Whatever. Job better pay.
Half these morons wouldn’t have a clue what they were doing once they finished the hacking anyways. Fucking anti-socials…